These people are so annoying, why can’t they do anything correctly? I need to be in control.
There’s no point in trying, I will never get what I want.
No one likes me.
He/she is such a show off.
Why is He/she so bossy?
He/she is untrustworthy.
I cannot wear something so expensive (I don’t deserve it).
Why are they so demanding?
I have to be perfect.
It’s not fair.
Have you caught yourself thinking “Oh gosh! I hope that I do not run into this person first thing in the morning at office, they are so annoying”? Invariably, you do run into them first thing in the morning and there goes your whole day brooding about the event.
What are we telling ourselves?
It is a common human tendency to blame our problems and sufferings on things outside ourselves and expecting solutions from outside us.
Typically, one’s view of life and questions of existence are shaped by a consciousness of self, as reflected in Descartes’ famous declaration “I think, therefore I am.” We hold the self to be the basis of reality, and everything else is seen in relation to it. This gives rise to a perception of life structured in terms of dualities—self/other, internal/external, body/mind, spiritual/material, human/nature. Though in my opinion, perceptions are not reality. These are just based on the thoughts, opinions, feelings and beliefs that we carry around for us and for others. And continuously try to create experiences to validate it.
Being a practitioner of Buddhist philosophy of cause and effect, I do believe that everything around us, including work and family relationships, is the reflection of our inner lives. Everything is perceived through the self and alters according to the individual’s inner state of life.
So instead of avoiding this person at work, have you ever wondered that what possible problems could they be facing and that you can help them?
Have you wondered about what #beliefs are we carrying about ourselves? What are we avoiding that we do not want to see in ourselves but see in others? What #blocks about self, money, careers or relationships are we fostering? That is stopping us from creating the reality we want.